Text to husband: “I’m leaving house in 25 minutes. You should be here to watch kids.”

I love snow days. Snow days are crafts and books and movies and snow forts and sledding and hot cocoa and snuggling under blankets. Until yesterday.

Things were different yesterday.

Yesterday’s snow day came on the heels of two snow days last week and a federal holiday this week. Yesterday’s snow day was not about puppy dogs and rainbows. Yesterday was all about survival.

0600 Phones ring. School cancelled.

0601 All three kids out of bed. I down first cup of coffee. Find remote.  Kids subdued by PBS kids.

0630 Kids hungry. Cereal poured. Milk poured. Sun Chips requested. I explain why Sun Chips aren’t for breakfast. I down second cup.

0700 Sun Chips opened. Third cup poured.

0710 Kids playing happily. I feel cautiously optimistic that we can do this day.

0715 Girls fighting over favorite Barbie – the one with the rat’s nest hair and one leg. Time outs for everyone. I consider brewing a second pot.

0730 Molly (the two-year old) asks to watch Godzilla. (Possibly not normal?) Molly and David settle on the couch for Godzilla versus Mechagodzilla. Heartwarming sibling moment.

0740 Molly’s done with Godzilla, off in search of her sister.

0745 Girls playing peacefully. David snuggled up on the couch watching classic, Japanese cinema. I seize this moment of contentment and make phone calls, email, vacuum, run dishwasher, and begin to fold laundry. Because, technically I didn’t get a snow day.

0845 Godzilla over. I declare a tv break.

0858 Emily comes out of her room and requests two blankets, one clothes pin, tape, and some honey.

0859 I turn on the tv – How to Train Your Dragon.

0910 Emily decides to watch entire movie while spinning around.

0920 David and I discuss how movies are made, where pasta was invented, King Tut, and the difference between girl and boy dogs.

0921 Emily, tired of falling down, stops spinning. She decides instead to narrate the movie in song.

0925 David tells Emily that if she doesn’t stop he’ll put her doll in the snow. I “talk” to David but, honestly, if a doll in the snow is what it takes to get her to stop – I’m okay with that.

1000 Movie stopped because of an argument over whether a certain dragon is a girl or boy.

1005 Kids do jumping jacks and sprints down the hallway. At my suggestion.

1056 It all breaks down. Kids sent to rooms. It’s me or them.

1111 Children subdued with PB & J. Peace reigns.

1122 Kids sent to play in playroom. I make my lunch, put feet up and ignore all screams.

1133 Keith comes home for lunch. (This is always when my husband comes home, in that rare moment that I’ve sat down, giving the wrong impression of the reality of my day. I inform him of this.)

1200 Grip on sanity must be slipping – I decide to clean floors. Move chairs. Girls make a train and chant non-stop “chug-a-chug-a-choo-choo.” David hiding in his room.

Chug-a- chug-a-choo-choo ... chug-a-chug-a-choo-choo ...chug-a-chug-a-choo-choo ...

1245 Girls still chanting. I consider joining David under his bed.

1300 Chanting ends. Book time.   Skippy Jon Jones transforms from Himalayan to Chihuahua and back. I’m fairly impressed with my Chihuahua accent.

1330 Check temperatures. Too cold to play outside. Okay, not really – when we lived in Alaska we would have loved this heat! But we don’t live in Alaska. And I’m not feeling the outside-in-the-snow process.

1340 Feel guilty that kids aren’t playing in snow.

1400 Snow gear process begins with mandatory bathroom attempts. Arguing and negotiation ensue. I hold firm.  No potty = no snow pants.

1410 One mitten missing. It’s a favorite mitten. Search begins.

1415 Search abandoned. Other gloves deemed acceptable by 2-year old.

1420 Snow pants on, gloves on. Discussion begins regarding necessity of hats and scarves.

1425 All children equipped for an Arctic expedition.

1426 Emily says she has to go to the bathroom. I don’t appreciate the humor of this classically humorous situation.

1432 All kids in backyard. I consider locking the door.

1520 Children inside. Wet snow gear is in a heap on the floor. Children are appeased, once again, by food.

1525 It all goes a bit fuzzy here. There was some kind of crisis regarding goggles. (Yes, goggles.)

1615 Text to husband: “I’m leaving house in 25 minutes. You should be here to watch kids.”

1640 No husband. He has called my bluff.

1700 I log onto Facebook to reach out to other adults in similar situations. Read friends’ posts about their lovely days: beautiful snow appreciated with kids, snow-day craft projects made with kids, homemade cookies baked with kids, hot cocoa drank with kids, and wonderful story times had with kids. I log off Facebook.

1715 Text to husband: “I’m hiding in bathroom. Come home. Kids all standing outside door. Need lock on bathroom.”

Hopefully by my next post I’ll have recovered enough to write with actual sentences and paragraphs.

22 thoughts on “Text to husband: “I’m leaving house in 25 minutes. You should be here to watch kids.”

  1. Oh my dear neighbor, I feel your pain! You should have just given up on all manners and come to my house. We could have locked them in the basement and drank wine all afternoon since we didn’t have to drive anywhere;D

  2. Thankfully, my kids are old enough to be left home alone on snow days (which doesn’t mean they don’t call me on my cell, or message me on Facebook)!

    We had another snow day today (second one this week)…hope things are back to normal on Monday!

    Wendy

  3. Wow, I’m glad I called your bluff! All kidding aside, I appreciate all your work. You accomplish more in a day than I in a week.

  4. 2030– Husband left nice comment. Warm fuzzy feelings surface. Glad you didn’t kill his kids. Yea, you’d do it all again 😉

  5. Amy, that was really good. Like how you did the quick time-stamped entries. Lot of great ones, but I think this is my favorite: “1426 Emily says she has to go to the bathroom. I don’t appreciate the humor of this classically humorous situation.”

    Sounds like every weekend.

    Glad you made it.

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