Not for my husband to read

I love my husband. He’s handsome, hard-working, smart … he should also stop reading here.

For the rest of you, I have a minor marital issue to discuss.

Ever see the Everybody Loves Raymond episode showing Ray and Debra in a battle of wills over who would put Ray’s suitcase away? They let it sit on the stairs for days instead of being the one to give up and put the suitcase away – to the point where Ray hid a block of stinky cheese in the suitcase. I feel like I’m reliving that episode in my home.

My cheese-in-the-suitcase issue surrounds the all-too-often ignored, yet potentially devastating topic of laundry. More specifically, the pile of laundry that’s been sitting on a chair in our family room for the past three days.

My cheesy suitcase

A little background – my husband does his share of housework which includes the occasional load of laundry. Yet, for some reason, I seem to have exclusive rights on folding and putting away laundry.

 Research shows that 82% of marital fights stem from unfolded laundry.*

So, I decided to conduct a little marital experiment. I decided not to fold the laundry to see how long it would be before he folded it. (I know – maturity defined. My book on how to communicate with your spouse will surely be out soon.)

Let me give you some insight about this laundry pile. It consists of Keith’s white t-shirts and a set of sheets. That’s it. It pretty much ranks as the easiest pile of laundry to fold, other than kitchen towels. I’m not even picky about the fitted sheets. I normally just pick up the sheet and move my hands in a Kumbaya or “the wheels on the bus go round and round” movement until the sheet resembles a cylindrical blob. (Yes, I’m sure my book on the art of domesticity will be immediately following the one on marital communication). The point being that, I have low laundry folding standards – I’m not hard to please!

So, here sits the laundry pile. I’ve watched Keith take shirts from it for the past couple of days. This doesn’t seem to bother him. What truly bothers me is that he seems to be unaware that we’re in the midst of a battle of the wills, which will make my victory a bit hollow should he ever fold the laundry.

On a positive note, during the extensive research that I always conduct when writing, I found this YouTube video on how to fold a fitted sheet:

 Who knew! My favorite part is her intro when she says, “One of the biggest challenges you’re going to face in your life is how to fold a fitted sheet.” Ha! Words of wisdom.

*As with 97% of the statistics given in my blog, this stat is completely made up.

32 thoughts on “Not for my husband to read

  1. Two notes about that sheet-folding video:
    1. I’m pretty sure there’s a pillow under her unfolded sheet example. Believe me–I’m deeply familiar with poorly-folded fitted sheets.
    2. Any folding that requires me to “walk it over to the table” isn’t gonna happen in my house. YOU walk it over to the table, lady!

    That is all.

  2. Probably her children have left her house, having their own household – so she has got plenty of time to fold sheets. If I think about my day – o my … – that’s pretty tough, gathering those piles of clothes, shoes, toys, snippled paper and other scary things. “Walk it over the table”? No theres is no more time left, to do that. 😦

  3. I have no children, and what I do to fitted sheets is between blob and folding as demonstrated. If it takes nearly 2 minutes to demonstrate said folding technique for a single item? Feel confident that it is not going to happen in my house. Precious moments, indeed. I used to have a pile of clean clothes in a chair. It became so large and entrenched that it earned the name “Clothes Mountain.” Clean clothes are the bane of my existence. That is a far cry from “the biggest challenges” I have faced in my life. Perhaps the next time I am dealing with a problem at work I can reassure the patient, family member or staff involved that whatever the issue, “It is hardly the biggest challenge you will face in life.” Yeah, let’s see how that goes.

    1. I couldn’t agree more. What a wonder life to have if those fittest sheets were your biggest challenge! I’m sure both your and my clients would benefit from a “folding fitted sheets” pamphlet. Problems solved. 🙂

      Thank you!

      1. He has a point about the chair. I’d debating hiding his white t-shirts throughout the house instead. Mwahahaha …

        (Insight about my husband — he may read my blog but he’s never come back to read how I reply to his comments.)


  4. I love this! I will shamelessly plug a post I wrote a year ago regarding fitted sheets. I had a competition with my husband: who can fold fitted sheets better. He won. I’m not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed.
    I am looking forward to reading your book on marital communication. I’d love to write the Foreward. 🙂

    1. We would be quite the team on that book! I read your post — awesome. Your husband has skills but I was pretty impressed with your sheet too. It’s leaps and bounds ahead of my sheet blob.

      Thanks for the link to your post — looking forward to reading more!


  5. I am the designated laundry folder at my house…as we speak, there are five loads sitting on two chairs in the family room, waiting to be folded (I did them yesterday). They will still be there tomorrow, and probably the next day, if I don’t fold them tomorrow night. I have managed to get Jim to sort socks, occasionally (something I’ve stopped doing – we have two sock baskets – one male and one female – the girls have a thing about wearing mismatched socks, so they don’t care!). I’m sure I’ve never folded a fitted sheet properly, but I don’t care…I have better things to do with my time!


  6. I could see my husband doing this. He’s also notorious for leaving balls of dirty clothes here and there, scattered in corners throughout the house. I try to experiment to see how long we can both go without picking it up. I always lose. The trash is another battle of wills between us. It piles up until it resembles a mountain, teetering on the edge of avalanche. Good times.

  7. Here’s my beef.

    I sort, wash, dry, fold, sort again (into stacks destined for appropriate drawers), and…leave them for Hubs to put them into said drawers. Except he doesn’t. He moves it from the bed to the ironing board when we go to sleep, then from the ironing board to the bed when he needs a shirt crisp, then from the bed to the guest bed…blargh.

  8. Contrived stats are my favorite kind.

    I’m the laundry Nazi in our house. My number one rule is don’t even bother washing it unless you’re going to fold it immediately. Getting put away in drawers and closets is where my system breaks down.

    KAW’s contribution is folding the fitted sheets. She learned to do it as a housekeeper. It’s sickening. I’m all about the glob and stuff.

    1. My system breaks down in numerous places. I’m trying to hammer home the point that it’s a 4-stage process: wash, dry, fold, put away. My husband seems to think he’s done his part with the wash and dry. But really anyone could do that. It takes real skill to determine which little, white sock goes with which child.
      I bet KAW’s sheet folding is awesome. She should do a YouTube video! Apparently this is a big deal; each of the ones out there had hundreds of thousands of hits. I bet she could manage to teach us without relegating fitted sheet folding to the biggest challenge of our lives.


  9. I’ve always felt like folding and putting away laundry is the hard part of laundry. Anyone can shove it in the washer and hit “Start.”

    “What truly bothers me is that he seems to be unaware that we’re in the midst of a battle of the wills”—So true! I hate when Kiefer doesn’t know what’s going on.

    I can’t wait to watch the fitted sheet video! I’m trying it out tonight!

    1. I so agree!! It could be argued a monkey (or worse, a child!) could spin the dial to start.

      Let me know how the fitted sheet turns out. I tried and failed miserably; I’ve decided I’m okay without fitted sheet skills.

  10. I watched the video specifically to find out if I was doing it “correctly”. I am! Ha! my grandmother was a cleaning lady for many, many years and I am absolutely sure she hated the way I (didn’t) keep house, she would be proud that I retained one little sliver of knowledge from her! well that and her recipe for coconut squares with chocolate frosting!

  11. Hmm, I must say, I’ll have to try her folding method on the fitted sheet. They only get folded at our house twice a year, spring and fall when I’m swapping percale and flannel. The rest of the time they come off the bed to be washed and are back on that night.
    It’s fun to watch the games people play. I had no idea! Thanks to all of you for sharing your laundry battles so I can see what I’ve been missing! lol

  12. I feel like I’ve had a therapy session reading these comments. ” My name is Melia and I have a laundry mountain problem.” I am so ashamed but I am no longer alone. Dirty dish piles get washed (they get gross too quickly), trash gets taken out (that’s gross too!), but that Downy-fresh pile sticks around. And around. And around….

  13. You notice they don’t show precisely how long she fights with smoothing out the sides before she takes it to the table. That’s the part of the video I want to see since that’s usually where my time and frustration comes in while folding a fitted sheet. I think we all have battles like this in marriages, but men seem to have the upper hand because they are better at ignoring things until they go away 😛

  14. You know, that chick in the video needs to take a step back: Don’t mess with my blob, lady. It’s a work of art, and your condescending and pretentious sheet perfection doesn’t intimidate me one iota!

    (Actually — yeah — I’m alarmed and bewildered by her technique. Dagnabbit, I didn’t need another reason to feel inadequate today…)

    Fun post. Epic laundry battles are the best. I especially like your hubby’s response — and then your devious response to his response to which he’ll never be the wiser. Classic!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s