At a recent staff meeting everyone had to say what superpower they’d like to have. I said that I’d like the power to stop time so I could get everything done. Then, I kept coming up with other answers. I didn’t get to share these answers in the meeting because, by that point, we were supposed to be in serious professional mode and not still daydreaming about super powers. Not too long after that meeting, a blogging friend of mine, Clay from the awesome EduClaytion if you’re curious, asked about super powers on Facebook. That sealed it – my list of superpowers had to go from daydream to blog post. First though, I eliminated the obvious. Of course I’d want the power to control the weather and send a huge rain storm over the state of Arizona. Of course I’d want the super power of diplomacy so there’d be peace on Earth. Those powers are not part of my list. Neither is the super power of unlimited power – that’s like asking the Genie for more wishes. (And we all know that doesn’t work.) To keep myself focused (as you can tell from this intro, I’ve been having difficulty staying focused), I decided to make my super-power list a list of parental super powers.
Because every parent knows that we’re no match for those little people. We need help – super help:
- Super heroes (and parents) need to cram a day’s worth of world-saving into little pockets of time. So, I’d like the power to spring out of bed freshly showered, legs shaved, clothed, hair done, and make-up applied. Can you imagine the time saved? Not to mention that this would eliminate those mornings when you pull into work, do a mirror check, and realize you only put make-up on one eye.
- If parents are superheroes (and we know they are), then their arch-enemy is, undoubtedly, laundry. If you doubt me (and you really shouldn’t because I said undoubtedly) then just read this post from my friend Kelly. Laundry is evil. So a highly coveted parent-power would be the ability to look at an item of clothing and make it instantly clean and fresh-smelling.
- Guilt is like kryptonite to a parent. It steals our strength and replaces it with self-doubt, frustration, and insecurity. So, I’d want the super power to erase parental guilt and replace it with perspective.
- I’ve spent my fair share of time in urgent care centers and emergency rooms. But, no more! I’d want the super power to end an ear infection with a single glance, to stop pain, and heal wounds. Super-heroes can definitely opt for the high-deductible plan.
- The moments I most want to capture too often happen when I don’t have a camera on hand. So, I’d like the power of camera eyes. With a mere blink I could photograph and upload. Of course, first I’d have to say something like “Camera Activate!” (You can imagine the unfortunate consequences of unintentional blink photography.)
- MY KIDS ARE SO LOUD! Like really, really loud. I mean I don’t think other kids are possibly this loud. I’d like the power to mute them.
- I want the power to see through walls, so I could know which child really had the oh-so-coveted Barbie with one leg and the rat’s nest hair first.
- No list of parental powers would be complete without the power to freeze. Yes, I’d want to freeze my kids at certain ages and in certain moments to capture their joy, innocence, and littleness. But I’d also like to freeze a cup in mid-spill. I’d like to freeze the picture frame before it shatters to the ground. Sure freezing power could preserve childhood; but it could also greatly decrease my need for cleaning supplies.
- No matter how hard I try, I can’t control everything in their world. But if I were a super hero I’d have the power to soothe souls, banish nightmares, and erase memories that shouldn’t be part of their story.
That list is actually an abbreviated list; I keep coming up with more but unless I ask for the super power to increase my number of blog readers, I don’t want to lose any of you by going on and on. I apologize if I’ve already gone on and on. Perhaps I need a list of blogging super powers …
It’s a bird … it’s a plane … it’s a mom with a laptop …