Things did not go well

It seemed like such a good idea.  Looking back, the combination of my three kids, 7-foot tall cornstalks, and a hot afternoon should have been indicators that this would not go so well.  Keith and I ignored the indicators.  We threw Molly up on Keith’s shoulders, named David and Emily our fearless leaders, and walked into the giant corn maze.  It was hot.  David and Emily led us.  Did I mention the corn was tall?

Things went badly.

First, I entertained myself by making the kids pose in ways that I found funny.  “Hey, kids! Pretend you’re both leading us in different directions!  It’ll be awesome!”

“Mom, no we want to find our way out.”

“Do it.  Now.  It’s funny.”

Nothing at all posed about this picture.

After a while, it started to seem that we were actually lost in the maze. 

“Hey, Keith, are we actually lost?”

“Yes, Amy.  It’s a maze.”

“Yeah, but really?”

I then began to entertain myself with “Amy” comments which are known to embarrass the kids in public because they’re corny. (Ha! Corny! Couldn’t resist …):

Me: “Hey kids, I think it’s time to make shelter and order a pizza.  Haha.  ‘Hello, I’d like a delivery to the sound of my voice in the corn maze!’”

Kids: “Mom.”

Keith: “Amy.”

Then, just about the time I considered calling 911 (I can relate!), we found our way out.  It was the longest 30-40 minutes of my life. 

Or so I thought.

Until we entered the pumpkin patch realm of fall fun.  It made the maze look like a bowl of popcorn.

All I wanted was one picture of all three kids happily posing amongst the pumpkins. It went like this:

Emily intentionally leaned on David.  Her purpose was both a beautiful pose and to annoy her brother.  She succeeded.  He responded with a sister-shaking jerk and what could be viewed as an elbow to the aforementioned sister.

Emily was fake outraged.

So we tried again.  This time I was ready.  Thanks to my split-second timing, it could appear that Emily is sweetly smiling at her big brother.  She’s not.  She’s planning on leaning on him again because it worked so well the first time.  But, I got my shot.  Or the best I could hope for unless I try this picture with three different children. 

What are your favorite fall traditions? Do you have any children to lend me for my Christmas photos?

16 thoughts on “Things did not go well

  1. Love the photos with different expressions. I had to laugh when I read this because this past weekend we went on a wagon ride and the wagon got stuck in the mud. After much debate we decided to abandon the stranded group and hike back to civilization carrying our three kids under age 4. The experience left us too tired to attempt the corn maze. Maybe that was a good thing!

  2. I love that you have the knack of capturing the priceless moments of life which are not at all funny to you while you’re living it, but hysterical to the rest of us because we can totally relate. One of the funniest moments captured of my childhood is my little brother bawling on my mom’s lap in the front seat of our tiny hatchback because he thought we were leaving our Colorado trip (yes we drove a hatchback from Texas to Colorado) and he threw his arms around his face and just bawled. My dad shamelessly took what became a monumentally funny picture… but only after we were adults. Trust. The same will happen to the corn maze story you will not be able to mention for years.

  3. As I said on Piper Bayard’s blog (where people were making fun of the family that got stuck in the corn maze), I, too, have been stuck in a corn maze. And not just for 40 minutes. For 5 hours! This was before people had cell phones or else I probably would have called 911! It was hot and we were thirsty. I will never go in another. Ever.

    Until next year. 😉

  4. I don’t remember corn mazes when I was a kid. And I grew up in Indiana. Did they not have them then, or is that because my parents were smart enough to never take us? I would totally get lost in a corn maze. And freak out. Love your pics!

  5. When I was a teenager our youth group would go to a friend’s farm every year and they had a hay maze in the barn. But you had to crawl through it. And it was pitch black. That was one of my favorite things ever, especially when you bumped into a girl and had to figure out who it was.

  6. Reminds me of a series of Santa photos from my childhood taken at the Tulsa mall. I was around 2 yrs. and I screamed bloody murder during the first photos while my 3 sisters smiled (fake) patiently. In the last one, I quit screaming and ate my sisters long hair. Memories…..

  7. This is hilarious, Amy. (Several days later, I hope you find it that way, too). I have some dolls that might substitute for children for Christmas pix. They sit very still, and always smile. Nah, you want “real” life to show, that makes for better pictures.

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