Hey Pa, where’s Ma!?!

Every day of my life, Occasionally, my expectations do not match my reality. This is never clearer to me than on Saturday mornings. All week, while at work, I look forward to an unhurried Saturday morning that includes coffee and cuddling on the couch while the kids contentedly watch cartoons and I catch up on some reading.

Yet, here I sit, typing these words in my closet. It’s 7:38 on Saturday morning and I’m hiding from my family. I have not spent the morning sitting peacefully, enjoying my family’s presence, sipping coffee, and reading. No. We have skateboarded, gone “camping” with the doll house family, made waffles (don’t get too excited, a toaster was involved), answered 5,000 questions, and walked the dogs fifteen times (numbers may be slightly exaggerated). It’s been absolutely exhausting lovely.

So, as any good parent would do, I grabbed my lukewarm cup of coffee, phone, and laptop and snuck into my closet. I’ve found peace underneath the hanging clothes. This moment of rock star parenting makes me realize that I’m fortunate to be a parent in the modern world. What did frontier women do when they hid from their families? And you know they did. It may not have warranted a chapter in Little House on the Prairie but there were times when Pa and the girls couldn’t find Ma because she was out hiding behind the outhouse. So without wifi, did poor Ma grind grain? Darn socks? Sew bonnets?

Not me.

I fire off texts to my husband:

Me: Can you bring me a waffle?

Keith: Where are you?

Me: In the closet.

Keith: Come out of the closet.

Me: No. Hiding from kids.

Keith: Stellar parenting.

Me: Thanks. Any chance of getting more coffee?

Keith: No.

My time in the closet was short-lived. The kids soon appeared and said, “What do you want, Mom? Dad said you were looking for us in here.”

Although my moment of sneaky solitude among the hanging clothes was brief, I learned a few things while in hiding. First, Keith has a dark side. Second, I could never hack it without modern technology. Third, I really need to have a coffee-maker in the closet. And, last, we all need little moments of escape from our lives, no matter how wonderful those lives may be.

Have your expectations failed to match your reality lately? How do you manage to make the occasional escape? Is darning socks a lost art? Do you feel Keith was ever so slightly unreasonable regarding the waffle request? (Oh, and if you’re a parent who never feels the need to take a breather from parenting, that’s fantastic. Your comments are very welcome … somewhere. Perhaps Parenting magazine has a blog?)